Focus on what's working

When we face a difficult situation, we usually make a list of what isn't working in order to find solutions. If we consider the situation of a person admitted to a care facility due to loss of autonomy, a whole team has already inventoried what isn't working with the person: can no longer go to the toilet, no longer speaks, no longer walks, is depressed, no longer eats alone, forgets where things are located, etc. We then have a rather negative portrait of the person, or rather a restrictive portrait, although it is important if we want to address daily difficulties.

However, do we take the time to list all the things the person can still do? What they still like to do, still want to do? What still works with the person if they are given a little help and tools to achieve it? We would then have a portrait that represents the glass half full rather than the glass half empty, wouldn't we? A more positive portrait of our loved one. A portrait that we could also share one day with those who will take them under their wing.

There is much talk about empowering people with loss of autonomy so that they feel respected and encouraged. To do this, we must list what works. Can my loved one still use a list? Follow instructions? Participate in household chores? Do gardening, wash the car, cook simple recipes? Sort old photos? Go on short outings with children and grandchildren? Of course, these projects will require a little organization and planning. We will need to break down the steps of the activities so that the person is not in a situation of failure. But imagine a daily life in which your loved one feels less useless, still alive, still capable of doing something meaningful. We can immediately think of a decrease in depression, apathy, and stress. We can imagine helping our loved one find their smile again. And a smile is contagious!